When it comes to making decisions involving The Egg Donor, my poor little stepson's well-being goes out the window. I cannot even see straight enough to consider his well-being because she makes me so angry and brings out the worst in me. So when my husband told me that The Egg Donor is coming to pick Daniel up for spring break week and she asked if we could send a weeks worth of clothes for him because she doesn't even know what size he wears now... I lose my ever-lovin' mind and scream, "UMM... NO! &@$!% SHE IS HIS MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD HAVE CLOTHES FOR HIM TO WEAR AT HER HOUSE AND WHY SHOULD WE SEND HIS EXPENSIVE CLOTHES OVER THERE, NEVER TO BE RETURNED TO US?!??" It's like the devil takes over my mind and the word vomit that spews out of my mouth is like nothing I have ever said before. I don't even know where it comes from and it makes me ashamed.
The bottom line is this: I am the bad guy who makes Daniel eat his vegetables and do his homework and go to bed early on school nights. I have to answer his sad questions about why his mom is never around, and I have to lie and make things up because I can't tell him the truth about his mother. Yet she will always be number one in his heart. It is such a thankless job; I feel like I am working a grueling full time job, but someone else receives my paychecks. And that is a tough one, my friend.
